Everyone in Toronto Is Talking About Chris Pine’s Penis Today. Here’s Why.
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The Toronto International Film Festival kicked off in one of our favorite cities last night, and instead of the usual chatter about glitz and glamour, people are talking about something much more important: Chris Pine’s penis. Yep, that’s right: the film actor’s member made an appearance at the Toronto film festival as part of his latest film, Outlaw King, as did his butt and bush.
In the film, Chris Pine — star of the big screen’s Star Trek reboot and the cringe-inducingly horrible A Wrinkle in Time — portrays Robert the Bruce, a Scottish lord in the 14th century who is fighting for his country’s independence, primarily by murdering a bunch of Brits. The film, which will see release on Netflix, also stars the just-as-hunky Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Kick-Ass and Kick-Ass 2).
Outlaw King is being pegged as a “David and Goliath” story, but we know what you’re thinking: Is Chris Pine a “goliath” down there? Well, after seeing Chris Pine’s penis in one of the film’s nude scenes, people have remarked he’s “above average.”
The two nude scenes in Outlaw King are reportedly fairly gratuitous, as are the film’s blood-and-guts scenes. (We’ve been told the film is a mashup of Game of Thrones and Braveheart.) First the audience is treated to lengthier-than-necessary shots of Chris Pine’s butt and medieval bush (not that we’re complaining) during a scene in which he’s about to bed his bride for the first time.
OUTLAW KING gives you a FULL view of Chris Pine and his Johnson…and I don’t mean Aaron Taylor. Prolly the most important thing you wanna know about the movie #tiff18
— J Don Birnam (@jdonbirnam) September 7, 2018
Then, later in the film, Chris Pine’s penis makes its debut performance during a scene in which the actor goes skinny-dipping. It’s reportedly a long-shot (sorry, there’s no close-up of Chris Pine’s penis) but was enough to make the Toronto Film Festival crowd gasp during the film’s premiere.
Of course, that gasp was more likely due to the fact that full-frontal male nudity is such a rarity on-screen, while female nudity has become more than commonplace. Here’s hoping Chris Pine’s penis sparks a revolution of more Hollywood penis to come!
